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Thursday, April 14th, 2011 08:30 pm
Title: Welcome to Atlantis
Fandom: Bandom, SGA
Rating: PG-13 or T, I guess
Wordcount: ~1100
Summary: On Bob's first day in Atlantis, he meets Dr. Skiba.
Note: part of the stars 'verse, based off a prompt from [personal profile] mahoni

" that's what you can expect from the physics department. You thought what CERN gets up to was scary? Just wait. Dr. McKay once destroyed most of a solar system by accident. Imagine what he could do if he was really trying." Major Lorne seemed a little too blase about possible world-ending shenanigans for Bob's taste but he held his tongue and tried to pay attention to what Lorne was telling him. He'd been briefed on the Stargate program back at the SGC but there was still so much to learn now that he was actually in Atlantis.

In another freaking galaxy. He still had trouble wrapping his head around that. It was amazing and almost too big to think about, so he tried to just focus on the city and her inhabitants right now.

"Next up is the biology wing. The botany labs are first." Major Lorne opened a door into a room filled with plants and lab benches. Nothing so different than what he might have seen on earth, really. Okay, so he wasn't used to seeing plants that were chained down and those tentacles were definitely new. Lorne led him over to where a man with a shaved head and a red-haired woman were consulting over the ugliest cactus that Bob had ever seen. "Dr. Andriano and Dr. Brown, say hello to Captain Bryar."

"Hi." The two botanists looked up, smiled, and waved vaguely before bending over the cactus again.

"It's nice to meet you," Bob said, but wasn't sure they were listening anymore.

Lorne just shrugged and said, "Now you get to meet the zoologists. Those are some fun guys."

Bob followed him back out of the lab and along the corridor to another doorway that was already open. As Lorne and Bob approached, a tall guy came barreling out and looked worriedly up and down the corridor.

"Did you see a furry little six-legged mammal come this way?" The guy asked Lorne as another guy with glasses came up behind him. "It's yellow with white-- oh, hello." The guy suddenly grinned at Bob and held out his hand. "Dr. Matt Skiba and who are you?"

"Captain Bob Bryar," Bob said, shaking Skiba's hand.

"It's his first day, Matt. Try to behave?" Lorne didn't look like he actually expected Dr. Skiba to do what he asked.

Skiba held on to Bob's hand just a little too long and leaned in close to say, "Hi, Bob. Care to help me catch a Lorax?"

"Like...from Dr. Seuss?" Bob asked and the next thing he knew Dr Skiba was dragging him down the corridor away from Major Lorne who was being questioned by the guy in glasses.

"Yes. Well, no, we just call him that because of the resemblance. Unfortunately he's clever, aggressive, and possibly poisonous so we need to catch him as quickly as possible." Skiba tugged on Bob's wrist and Bob figured he might as well go along with it. If this was some weird hazing ritual then he could kick Skiba's ass later.

"So first day, huh?" Skiba asked quietly as he crept down the corridor and peeked around a corner. "You being punished for something?"

"No? I've only been at the SGC for a few months. Not really long enough to really fuck up."

"Oh, that's more than long enough, my friend." Skiba looked over his shoulder at Bob and his eyes sparkled with mischief. He brought one finger up to his lips and pursed them. Bob jerked his gaze away from Skiba's mouth, unsettled but unsure why, and peeked around the corner.

The creature was no bigger than a cocker spaniel and stood on its back legs, reaching toward the controls of a transporter with its front legs. The middle legs were kind of curled around its body and were freaking Bob out a little if he was honest. The thing's head moved and Bob jerked back around the corner before it could see him.

He glanced at Skiba who smiled and pulled a shiny silver packet out of his jacket pocket. He shoved it into Bob's hand and made some complicated hand gestures that seemed to indicate that Bob was to open the packet and approach the creature while Skiba snuck up behind it. At least that's what Bob hoped it all meant. He nodded and stepped around the corner and into the creature's view, opening the packet slowly.

The creature looked up at the crinkling sound of plastic and then sniffed the air as Bob pulled out one of the frosted strawberry pop tarts. "Hey, you want one of these?"

Bob kept one eye on Skiba who was sneaking up behind the creature and pulling a leash out of his other pocket. Bob approached the creature slowly, speaking in a voice low enough to be soothing but loud enough to keep its attention on him. As he got closer, he could see that there was a leather collar nearly hidden in the long fur around the creature's neck. What the fuck? Was this thing a pet?

As he got nearer, the creature's tiny ears pricked up and it reached for the pop tart he held out to it. Just as Skiba slid up behind it and clipped the leash on the collar, its mouth opened impossibly wide to reveal rows and rows of needle sharp teeth.

Bob flung the pop tart at the creature and scrambled back out of reach. It caught the pop tart in its mouth and made a high pitched humming noise before ripping it apart with its terrifying teeth. It swallowed down the pop tart with a grinding, gurgling noise that Skiba had to shout over, "Throw him the other one!"

Bob did as he was told and watched in amazement as the creature devoured the second pop tart and then hummed again before closing its eyes and curling up in a loose ball on the floor.

"Sugar puts him right out," Skiba explained as he knelt down and checked out the creature before lifting it up in his arms and carrying it back toward the lab. Bob followed along at a safe distance, one hand on his sidearm in case the thing woke up and tried to eat Skiba's face off.

Back in the lab, Skiba deposited the creature in a roomy Plexiglas cage and shut the door, double checking that it was locked before turning his back on it.

"So...does this kind of thing happen to you a lot?" Bob asked, trying not to sound as incredulous as he felt.

"Define 'a lot'..."

"I don't know...daily?" Bob had a feeling his life had just gotten a thousand times more interesting. Whether that was a good thing or not remained to be seen.

Skiba shrugged and then grinned brightly. "Welcome to Atlantis, Captain Bob."


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